he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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