just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
this hospital has no fireball
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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