In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
