Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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