o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
