I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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