I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
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Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
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Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.