hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
