Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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