Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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