someone threw a dead crab at me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
