sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
