We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
bring money and cleavage
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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