have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize