I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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