god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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