You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
