i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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