do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
