listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
