Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
