Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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