i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
