The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
