Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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