Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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