Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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