Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
