we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
