it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
