I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
