therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
