Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
