Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
