Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize