Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
