you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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