The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just high enough for therapy.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have fence marks all over my body
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
