Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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