I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize