We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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