I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
