Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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