I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
