Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
