I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
