I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
