But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
