Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
