Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
