i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize