he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize