He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
