then he tried to convert me to islam
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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