he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My balls are so social today.
I wish you could order shots online.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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