She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
