I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do herpes really smell.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
