How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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