i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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