Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
