I understand Curling. That high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My liver just had a heart attack.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
