I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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