Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
pray to the hookup gods
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
