dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
